Tag: Easy

[LEGACY] Abst Clicker Farm

Saying this right here first before I write anything, as I know that the amount I write can prevent people from seeing how I feel about this game.

Do not buy this.
At any cost.
Do not.
If you’re an unlucky sod who has this in their steam library already due to buying 150 game bundles from dodgy Russian game-code websites, then do us a favour. This game only has 4 reviews, write one. Even if it is only “This game is very bad.”, just be honest. In aide of mindless fools who would buy a game just because it’s on sale, turn them away with the sight of red. (Negative rating).

This game is a shill, a shell, and a bombshell all at once.
Now, it’s not outrageously bad as the game actually functions and does not crash in the middle of playing like so many AAA games, that’s a plus, so we are now up to at least a 1/10.
Then there is the matrix-like binary code type theme, which I’m fond of. I’ve always liked the green text on the black background aesthetic.
The generation of money is also interesting, it is your standard “currency is click=dollars”.
To level up, you purchase bits bytes and kilobytes to auto-collect your money. So now we are at least at a 2/10. (If we were giving out pity points, that is).

As soon as you enter the damn game you are hit with a wall of shattered expectations, no ear-blasting music, no cheesy copyright free music, no music that breaches copyright laws, nothing.
None of the buttons make noises, nothing makes a noise. It’s just you, the button and the noise of your mouse endlessly clicking as you try to figure out why life has doomed you to this fate.
Not of this game, but why you even thought this game would even be worth playing in the first place.
Silence of the void, asking you the crushing question of why you even bothered to buy/download/play this game in the first place.

The fun stuff is, is that this game is so easy to replicate.
It’s so un-unique.
You get maybe 10 “enhancers” to your click bonus, and you’re just left to fend for yourself with your underpowered clicking and the severe lack of money to purchase your next 10 megabytes.
Yes, the binary and computer theme is cool! So what?
A mindless clicking game was made with visually intriguing aspects, not visually appealing ones, and boom, done. Perfect.
You’ve got yourself what the developers consider a “game” worth “money”.

Do all these images look the same? If the answer is “Yes”, or any variation of agreeing, then ask yourself this: “Did you expect anything less?”

Pros:

  • It functions as a game, no crashes, major bugs with visuals or audio.
  • Computer Theme/ Binary Theme/ Matrix Theme

Cons:

  • No Music
  • No Sounds
  • No Effort
  • No Imagination
  • Nothing Unique
  • No payoff for all the time you’ve wasted clicking at binary.

This game is nothing.

Oh, and the achievements are borked.

Price: £0.79
Time To Complete: There is no completion. I have 6.9 hours in the game for the “lols”, but it probably only took 1 – 2 hours to max everything out.
Achievements: 5
Cards: N/A
Worth The Money: It’s not worth wiping your arse with.

If you recognise this image, then you already know what I’m implying.
Play it instead if you want a clicker.

This game is a shell of a clicker game, so much so that I don’t even consider it a game, as there’s no payoff. There’s no effort, no life, and no reason to play it. So, therefore, there is no reason to buy it or to endorse the “maker” of this “game”.

Zest Rating
0 Out Of 10. I’m drinking bleach for a pallet cleanser after that.
The endless void which is the expanse of my life can’t hope to be just as dull, empty and meaningless as this game. It’s devoid of passion, creativity, and meaning. Honestly, describing myself as well, but at least I have really nice eyes, the game can’t boast the same.

Please bear in mind that this is a repost. There have been slight changes to the post such as spelling and grammar fixes, images added, and things generally organised in the fashion I'd like them presented.  Apart from that, the main context of the review has not changed, opinion has not been altered and everything is sacred. I look forward to writing for you all again.
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[LEGACY] Alchemy Garden

I am completely in love with this game, and the game is still in Alpha. How is this possible? Oh yeah, a combination of things I’ve always loved, a concept that’s always worked and the fact that the dev/devs are seriously putting in a lot of effort into the game. This game certainly enters my top 10 of games that I’ve received from Keymailer, and it’s not every halfway finished yet due to it being in Alpha stage of all things, not even Beta!

Alchemy garden is a game where you, a budding alchemist, move into a shack outside of town and do it up enough to where not only can you live in it but sell from it too. Like Potion Craft, you go through the day picking your plants and herbs, create potions to your heart’s whim and proceed to sell them to the random members of the public that wander in.
Unlike Potion Craft, however, doing everything by hand, picking every flower and mushroom, and running around the entire outside area. It’s so… tranquil. Not only this, but you can also head into town and interact with the townspeople, not that they have much to say yet. There are two shops within the town, one is a seed vendor who sells 3 different types of seeds with varying rarities every day, and a carpenter who sells tools and furniture.

This game is currently in Alpha stage as I mentioned before, so there are a few things I could pick up on that would make the game better, but nothing too game-breaking.
The recipe book that you note all the potions you made in is not very user-friendly, putting the potions that you make in the book in the order that you found them. This makes looking for the recipe for potions really tedious, as you have to flip through every other potion before/after it to find it again for a customer.
Another thing is that when I was placing furniture outside (I’m not sure if it’s after I slept, or after I saved, quit and played the game a day later) on returning to where the furniture should’ve been, it’d vanished!

There’s another few things with objects like flowers spawning on top of each other, the inside of the cave taking half of your stamina to traverse because you have to jump all the time, and the general finickiness of putting ingredients in the cauldron… but aside from that, this game has the makings of something great, and I genuinely can’t wait until the full release.

Price: £7.99 (Update 10.99 now)
Time To Complete: N/A. However, with the limited potions right now, it took me around 2 hours to get all the plants to create every potion craftable.
Achievements: N/A (Yet) (update 44)
Cards: N/A (Yet)
Worth The Money: For most games in Alpha, I’d usually tell you to steer clear of any that cost money, as you’re “paying to test the game”. In Alchemy Garden’s case, I see this as an investment into what the game can become. So definitely, yes.

I can’t write much more about Alchemy Garden, because there’s not that much more to the game. It still has taken 5 hours out of my life and will continue to do so when I feel I need a little of that cutesy, free will, potion maker and sell ’em game.
With that 5 hours, I did the same thing over and over again, reminiscent of my very much enjoyed 400+ hours of Stardew Valley, and not one time was I bored.
If you’re a person who likes the potion making and selling aspect of Potion Craft, the free will and no clear direction of Minecraft and the endless, enjoyable farming routines of Stardew, then £7.99 shouldn’t be too much for you.
Even so, this game goes on sale more often than I stream. So if you’re still not too sure, you can always pick it up for a steal at some point.

Zesty Rating
4 Out Of 5. That first little pip of pomegranate that’s so full of flavour. And because it tastes so good, you know the rest of its insides will taste the same.
A richly colourful and cute game. Harness nature and pick up countless flowers and herbs to make a vast array of potions. Despite being in Alpha, it shows great promise for a full and addicting shopkeeping game which allows you to go at your own pace.

Please bear in mind that this is a repost. There have been slight changes to the post such as spelling and grammar fixes, images added, and things generally organised in the fashion I'd like them presented.  Apart from that, the main context of the review has not changed, opinion has not been altered and everything is sacred. I look forward to writing for you all again.

NOTE: This game is flagged as “Retry”.
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