Tag: 3D

[LEGACY] Thrive

We’ll start off by saying that I was excited about Thrive, as I’ve played Spore. It’s the part of Spore where you crash-land into the sea inside a big meteorite and gobble up all the stuff you need to evolve, adding more on as you go.
This game is that exact part from spore, but more complicated, more complex.

Again, you start off a tiny cell doing a wiggle-swiggle around the sea, but instead of particulates being picked up you’re sucking up glucose, ammonia, and phosphate. Glucose acts as your primary food source and energy source (so if you can’t find that you’re fucked), whereas ammonia and phosphate are your progress devices, the more you collect of those the quicker you fill your evolution metre.
From there you add different parts to your tiny little cell body, some are just cells, but others have more precise functions like Metabolosomes and Chemosythesizing Proteins… nah I’m too dumb for that stuff.

So, what do you do in the game? Thrive. Haha, yeah but what else? Nope, that’s merely it.

I only played it for what I can say is a “little while” on my stream while making my review, and it’s safe to say it’s not the most entertaining game to play, but also for others to watch. So I continued to play it off-stream to no avail. I couldn’t get a whole lot further than what I had initially, but slowly came to the realisation that “I have to play this game for a lot longer and grind it right out to even noticeably progress, don’t I?”
Yes, that was the case. That, for me, is a huge game-killer. When you noticeably have to put many hours just to get the ball rolling in a game, is it really okay? When the game punishes you for taking a step further than what is expected of you? Especially when all there is to the game is swimming around, gobbling up things and becoming bigger.

Pros:

  • The game functions as a game.
  • Takes the cellular floaty and collect things to upgrade yourself (part of Spore(in brackets as idk where it came from first)) and expands on it, pushing it further.
  • Goes in depth with a more science-y approach, adding more accurate names and processes to evolving and upgrading your lifeform.
  • The upgrade, item, and travel menu is clear and easy to read. It could’ve been so user unfriendly considering the amount of information they’re trying to put across.

Cons:

  • Despite being a lot more complex than the original concepts of this style of game, it still feels empty. I think the original premise (that I’d found in Spore, among other games) was better due to the promise of actual evolution. Within Thrive you just get bigger and bigger and more complex, while that in itself if a fun part about it, that’s really just about it. It’s about getting the best out of what stage you’re in, but not progressing any further than that.
  • Even though the game has numerous pointers and plenty of little pop-ups that show you at the start what things do and how the game works… I still can’t help but feel a little lost even into an hour of playing. I know what I’m doing, yet still feel lost.
  • The game overall, while a good concept, is just incredibly boring. Not much to say about it. The only real danger you have is dying because you can’t find any glucose. I have found other organisms in the water that I’ve had to fight, but honestly, you’re more likely to die from “starvation”.
  • Following the above comment. I do know how the game works, different areas have less of different things that you can eat and need to survive. I know that if I go into a stage unprepared, then there will be a higher chance of me dying, sure. But when I go into the next stage up, and I’m wandering around (in the one direction the first time) for the best half of 2 minutes. In those 2 minutes I find absolutely nothing with no clue as to why I’m not finding anything or where it could be, and die. It’s not really compelling me to play the game for any longer.

Overall, this game is for someone who can do the same thing over and over again, with the same kind of background, same motions but with slight variations. It’s a game that will take a lot of time and a lot of patience, and is really only for someone who enthuses about microorganism evolution and progression.
It’s honestly not for me, not really worth my time and genuinely looked a lot more enjoyable in the trailer than what it was playing it or watching it via a stream.

In addition, please note that this game is currently in Early Access and seems to be one of those games that will be an EA (not that EA) game for a while. This is (hopefully) not due to this being a shovelware game, and because, as the devs state, it is a volunteer project. It is also apparently free elsewhere, whereas on Steam it’s paid for.

Price: £3.99, but free elsewhere.
Time To Complete: N/A
Achievements: None
Cards: No
Worth The Money: Honestly, no. But it seems (like Unturned) this is a pay to support the dev type deal. If you’re interested in this game, find where it’s free and help these devs perfect their long-term project.

Zesty Rating
4.5 Out Of 10.



A game premise I was genuinely keen to see if taking one point of another game and honing in on it worked again. This time it fails. Bland, slow and unrewarding, similar to how life is going for us right now. Too much work and effort for so little outcome and nothing to show for it.

Please bear in mind that this is a repost. There have been slight changes to the post such as spelling and grammar fixes, images added, and things generally organised in the fashion I'd like them presented.  Apart from that, the main context of the review has not changed, opinion has not been altered and everything is sacred. I look forward to writing for you all again.
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[LEGACY] Acorn Assault: Rodent Revolution

Acorn Assault: Rodent Revolution is where Plants Vs Zombies meets a Match 3 game.

There is not really a lot to complain about the game, despite the number of cons I will inevitably put at the end of this review. Most of them are because the game is a little price-y for only having 25 pretty short levels, which I’m sure scale in difficulty. It’s more or less nitpicking after the whole price check complaint.

The game is simple. You are squirrels and the enemies are squirrels. The premise of the plot is really just a “The Squirrels Are Playing Human Roles; Therefore It’s A Rodent Revolution”. Place your pieces, they fire. The enemy place their pieces, they fire. Place three of the same type of piece in a particular pattern, and they evolve into a bigger, more beefy or lethal piece. It honestly Plants vs Chess vs Match 3 and is actually great for what it is… But that’s all that it is.

If this was a mini-game in a larger game, then it would definitely have me head over heels for the game. Alas, it is not, so I would recommend to thee that thee fair gamers wait until thy game has been taken down a notch in terms of coppers, before picking this game up.

Pros:

  • The game works and does not crash or have any bugs or graphical glitches.
  • All music suits the theme and does not disrupt from the lore or the game itself, everything is suitable.
  • Some aspects of the story are genuinely entertaining and funny at times, watching squirrels quarrel about trivial manners is really ridiculous.
  • The unique take on the plants vs zombies vs chess vs match 3 fighting is actually rather refreshing. It’s almost nostalgic as it reminds me of an old game that I used to play, that I don’t have mind the name of.
  • The game genuinely does not look bad at all. They are very obviously 3D models of squirrels, no realism here, but it doesn’t hurt your eyes or soul to look at, which is something I can say has happened to me before.

Cons:

  • While refreshing, the plants vs zombies style battling is the only thing that happens. There is dialogue between battles, but that’s it. There are 25 levels of this which progressively gets harder, but that’s not worth the full price in my opinion.
  • The squirrels have just about the same dialogue every time. I’ve only made if halfway through, but Cortex is really fixed on capturing the bandicoot.
  • It teaches you early on that combining three squirrels makes a bigger and better squirrel, but it didn’t give you a little nudge for you to find that these big squirrels can combine into an even bigger squirrel. Maybe it’s expected, but my dumb face could’ve done with knowing it a little sooner.
  • There’s also no way of preventing your squirrels from becoming blue eyes white dragon, perhaps I want a nice row of them, to block the incoming bullets.

Price: £7.19
Time To Complete: N/A
Achievements: None
Cards: Yes
Worth The Money: Only When On Sale

In conclusion, it’s not the best game to ever surface upon Steam, especially for the price that is being asked of it. However, when it’s on sale, it’s a brilliant game to buy and play. An hour’s worth of playing in 5 levels, with about 25 levels in total. If you love puzzles, and match 3 stuff, then you can probably get a good number of hours out of this game.

Zesty Rating
5 Out Of 10
A decent jab at combining elements of Match 3 and Plants Vs Zombies. Squirrels take on the affairs of humans and battle it out in cute little uniforms. Not a horrible game, and has good puzzles, but not amazing.

Please bear in mind that this is a repost. There have been slight changes to the post such as spelling and grammar fixes, images added, and things generally organised in the fashion I'd like them presented.  Apart from that, the main context of the review has not changed, opinion has not been altered and everything is sacred. I look forward to writing for you all again.
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[LEGACY] Shape Shift Shaun Episode 1: Tale of the Transmogrified

When strolling through Keymailer, I often look for games I know I can play. This also means that the selection of games that I get can sometimes be rather underwhelming, or just plain shit.
The ease of getting and reviewing bad games has got me this far, being not just a smaller streamer than most, but also relatively newer to streaming, less professional and less social media savvy.
I can now just about get any game I ask for off Keymailer, assuming that it is indie, and it’s cheap enough made. So, when I saw Shape Shift Shaun, this was another game that I could easily get and play. Plus, it’s easy to make a review for a game when everything is so bad that it sticks out like a broken pinkie.

Shape Shift Shaun Episode 1: Tale of the Transmogrified, is a mouthful to say, SSSE1:TT is also ridiculous and the first gripe I have with the game is the length of the title of the game. Why does that need to be the full title? I get that you probably want to make more games in the future, but it all doesn’t need to be in the title.
Nevertheless, I’ll stop bitching about things that don’t really matter all that much.

Shape Shift Shaun is a game where you get bullied at Hallowe’en after you get a bunch of candy, then thrown down a crater that was made by a falling meteor by the bully. You and the bully are now trapped in the centre of the earth, which is reminiscent of the setup of Journey To The Centre Of The Earth or Ice Age 3: Dawn Of The Dinosaur. Inside this area, the Bully, and Shaun freak out as there’s “no food” despite only being there for like 3 minutes, which is hardly enough time to look around for food. The Bully threatens to eat Shaun’s candy, but the candy has been dropped all over the inner planet. After threatening to then eat Shaun, the Bully then eats a little red Soot Sprite that can talk and transforms into a mega-chad bully and goes on a rampage to eat more of them. Using the power of more little red soot sprites, Shaun turns into a dragon and goes on a quest to capture the Bully.

I have no idea whether this is a game for kids or not.
It’s really hard to tell.
It’s a basic platformer where you can run and jump, and you collect candy for points. You can also change into a red dragon at any time during the game to then glide and breathe fire on the enemies, effectively killing them. You also breathe fire on a multitude of obstacles to get them out of the way and progress with the level.
All the controls, bar a few, seem relatively alright and make sense concerning the global platforming controls. The only thing I didn’t like was the controls for switching forms and attacking enemies. They were close to each other and on a side of the keyboard that didn’t make sense to me. This often led me to change forms when I wanted to attack enemies.

The story itself goes on further than that, hinting towards being able to change into multiple things, but I just didn’t get that far. Despite actually feeling quite fluid and easy to control, the enemy placement and the placement of platforms, on the other hand, had me at a complete loss. Only being able to get close to the end of the level out of memory, makes me think that either it’s not a kids game, or it’s just a bad one.

Pros:

  • The game works, has no massive graphical or audio issues/glitches, and does not crash upon load or during the game.
  • Even though it’s not an old game, it has that old, cheap looking aesthetic of older games with the weird moving 3D character models in a 2D game. I hold this as a positive as it’s not entirely ugly, but certainly holds that old-world charm.
  • Everything is clear and self-explanatory, absolutely no guess-work is required to complete this game. Everything is spelt out clear as day and objectives made clear.
  • Most of the controls are the universal norm for most platformers.

Cons:

  • The story is boring, rather drab and a little ridiculous at best. Clearly overexaggerated for the comedy value. The Bully freaking out the tiny red creature talks then promptly eating it seems a little unusual.
  • The controls that are not the universal norm for platforming are very strange. It essentially has you reaching round the keyboard, but also accidentally smacking the wrong one. Despite being relatively easy otherwise, this part of the controls raises the difficulty immensely for no reason.
  • As the controls for platforming are almost perfect, the game had to fail elsewhere. This is where game design came in. The platforms are arranged so strangely that one small move can have you falling off the edge of a platform, despite the image of the platform still being under your feet. You also have to remember exactly where things are, as you can be jumping off a platform at the far right of your screen not knowing where the next platform is.
    Enemy placement as well is a tragedy. Three long and wide purple blob creatures on a tiny platform that I not only need to land on but also destroy the vines AND kill them and progress.

Price: £5.79
Time To Complete: N/A
Achievements: 15
Cards: No
Worth The Money: Nah, not really.

In conclusion, I’m still not really even sure whether this game is a kids game or not. It’s genuinely bland enough in the story department but colourful enough and revolves around sweets. It’s also easy to grasp, apart from the odd controls for switching forms and attacking. It’s a really mixed bag in terms of a game, but my audience absolutely hated it, they could’ve hated how it looked more than me. Overall, the game isn’t that bad, it’s just not really worth the money it wants as while it probably has the content and time/effort put into it for a £5.79 game, it’s just not fun.

Zesty Rating
3 Out Of 10
A boring and bland story paired with a colourful but ugly game. Lovely controlling of the platforming and has everything a platformer needs, except for a good game design. Dodgy platforms, terrible map planning and even worse enemy placement.

Please bear in mind that this is a repost. There have been slight changes to the post such as spelling and grammar fixes, images added, and things generally organised in the fashion I'd like them presented.  Apart from that, the main context of the review has not changed, opinion has not been altered and everything is sacred. I look forward to writing for you all again.
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[LEGACY] Receiver 2

I first went into Receiver 2 thinking that this was a first-person shooter game like any other, I was wrong. I’d read the blurb on how it teaches you vaguely how a vast array of guns work, in the most “This Does Not Qualify As Actual Gun Training” way as possible, but still thinking it was a progressive game.

I was also wrong.

You start off by getting this pistol, which it tells you how to fire and such in a tutorial area that’s in the construction site of a city. You’re facing off against robot turrets that have a line of sight you can see via the light it shines to see you. The light is blue when it can’t see you and promptly changes you yellow and starts firing at you when it can. Simple.
After the tutorial area, you’re then further up in a series of buildings full of machine gun turrets, learning how to use the next gun, killing more machine gun turrets, and finding cassette tapes.

From here on, the game is samey, samey, samey. You get to the end of the level, you restart in a different area with a different gun. You get to the end of the level again, restart again with another different gun, more robotic turrets, blah, blah blah.
There is nothing more to this game than restarting in the same building with a different gun each time, I got through about 5 guns until I’d had enough. I’ve actually got to in a point in this review where I’m uncertain if I’ve said the same thing over and over because that’s all there is. Nothing actually… happens…

Pros:

  • The game works, not graphical issues or game breaking bugs.
  • The game feels soooo sleek and smooth, everything about the game feels fluid and responsive, and is precisely what I’d love from a first person Hitman game.
  • The setting (while the same one every single time) is 100% spot on. Everything is believable in an abandoned office building, a work in progress. It’s not a forced scene and sets a really great atmosphere.
  • The actual implementation of learning how to use different guns and them all being finicky and different was appealing. Especially when I reset once and didn’t realise that I was using a different gun, as it looked vaguely the same until I had to reload it, and it was missing one chamber.
  • It gives a sense of infinite possibility to how you can approach how to finish the “level”. Walk down any corridor, up any stairs, and shoot the turrets from any angle.

Cons:

  • While the game works sleekly, and smoothly, it does have a few weird controls for a keyboard. More akin to a console controller. Like for sprinting, you need to ferociously tap the “W” key to start sprinting, and you need to keep it up to keep sprinting. Each action for the gun, firing, reloading, emptying the chamber, opening the chamber, have all separate keys on the keyboard, which makes for a “I need to look at my fingers” moment nearly every time. Not only that, but having to forget all of that for the next gun you use on the next level.
  • The setting is the same at every level, and not in a Groundhog Day way. You get to the top of the level each time and then suddenly appear back downstairs again with a different gun. The story I uncovered within does nothing to really explain why I’m here, but I know who I am. Despite being a well polished and believable building, seeing it for the 5th time was enough to know I would rather not see it again.
  • While I loved the intricacy of using different guns, the learning of it felt clunky and somewhat forced. It lacked the situational learning that you have in most other FPS games where when the player picks up new guns it slowly lets them learn everything. In this, you’re just handed the gun and multiple controls that you’re given to remember and gives you no repetitive learning time. But at the same time, the whole game is learning time, and you don’t feel as if it’s an actual game.
  • As much as I love the whole “telling the story through the tapes and notes” feature, it becomes semi-irrelevant if you can just miss them. This was something I thought about Amnesia as well until I realised that despite seeming like an open game, it wasn’t. This game, however, is very much open, and it’s easy to miss some notes and tapes. I didn’t feel as though I were getting the full story or experience. They’d do better with the Superliminal approach of areas you have to walk through which have the story in them.

Price: £15.49
Time To Complete: 7.5 hours
Achievements: 34
Cards: 5
Worth The Money: Not At All

Overall, there is not a game for me, to the point where I wouldn’t really consider it a game. It’s a simulation (as it’s advertised) but not as much of a game as it feels it is. It’s super polished and is really intuitive to play, and honestly feels like something I’d enjoy playing if the environment/world I was in was enjoyable. It has that high levels of “I am more in control of this character than other games allow me to be” but gave me nothing to do with it. Honestly, it’s not something I can recommend to most of my friends, as they would all get bored with it much quicker than I did.
For a gun nerd who doesn’t give a shit about a story or being entertained by changing aspects of the game, this is for you.

Zesty Rating
3.5 Out Of 10
It’s got the glitz, and it’s got the glamour, but it’s got as much weight as an inflatable hammer. An empty simulation game which gives you the story in miss-able drips and drabs, and really drags when all you do is train, again and again. I apparently felt like rhyming because the itchy trigger finger sends my frustration climbing.

Please bear in mind that this is a repost. There have been slight changes to the post such as spelling and grammar fixes, images added, and things generally organised in the fashion I'd like them presented.  Apart from that, the main context of the review has not changed, opinion has not been altered and everything is sacred. I look forward to writing for you all again.

NOTE: This game is flagged as “Retry”.
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[LEGACY] 9 Balls

9 Balls is indeed a billiards game, what happens when it is 8 balls instead?

This is the question I asked when I opened the title screen and instead of “play”, “options” and “exit” I was met with “8 balls” and “9 balls”.
Now this isn’t relevant, obviously, but it was a lingering question. Why call it 9 balls when you have an 8 balls game too?

This is a shadow of a billiards game, it is essentially the “typing on an Xbox/PlayStation console without one of those little keyboard add-ons” version of billiards. Everything is so slow, clunky, and unintuitive.
Instead of the cue being able to swing around freely as you’d position yourself around the billiard table, you have to pull, pull, pull, pull the cue round to where you want it to face. It’s clunky, and it’s sticky, and quite frankly, virtually unplayable.

On the other hand, the ball physics are to die for *sarcasm*. Whether you feel a bit more stricken when you attempt to line up the balls for a break, and see the pathetic click and hardly moving balls despite the strength-o-meter being at the highest possible level, or later when you attempt to take a long shot on a perfectly positioned ball, the meter is unable to provide the strength necessary to pocket the ball.
The ball physics suck. I can’t even tell if it’s the “friction” on the table that’s causing this or a shitty mistake in the mechanics of the maths behind the ball movement.

The only time that the ball physics don’t suck is when I got bored with the game and started pelting all the balls full force and eventually managed to send the 8-ball flying off the table. I had a good giggle at the fact it could do that, and, and I was a little happier for a split second, then it happened. The next turn started, and the 8-ball didn’t reset, or come back at all. It was just gone. Keep on playing after that and the next turn around, *poof,* all the balls disappear from the table and the game is rendered unplayable.

If your game is going to have ball physics where things are hitting off each other at high speeds, things will fly into the air. Please, for fuck’s sake, put a damn invisible dome around the table to prevent balls from getting out.

Pros:

  • It looks like a billiards game, doesn’t look too cheap. (like all the graphics being made in Paint.)
  • No graphical or music issues or glitches.
  • Unexpected extra game mode (+1 point)
  • Doesn’t crash on load or during game.
  • Good cue sight (seeing where you’re firing the ball), some billiards games don’t give you that at all.

Cons:

  • You literally have to drag the cue across the table again and again and again to just get it to where you want to aim.
  • No option to turn off the cue sight, some people may want to play without the visual aide.
  • Balls have too much friction, or the maths just wrong?
  • Balls fly off into the sunset and never come back, thus breaking the game.

Price: £0.79
Time To Complete: N/A
Achievements: None
Cards: No
Worth The Money: No, despite being as cheap as it is. Just no.

Zesty Rating
1 Out Of 10
Boring, clunky, sticky and barely fun game of billiards. Not worth the spare change in your pocket, buy yourself a Freddo. The only redeeming thing about this game is that it looks the part, and it doesn’t randomly crash on you for no reason. 

Please bear in mind that this is a repost. There have been slight changes to the post such as spelling and grammar fixes, images added, and things generally organised in the fashion I'd like them presented.  Apart from that, the main context of the review has not changed, opinion has not been altered and everything is sacred. I look forward to writing for you all again.
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Action Rush

So, here we are, in Action Rush. We start at the precipice of a rocky, floating island after just having come out of a very India Jones looking temple-like place. Flaming torches on stone pedestals, huge towering columns and dark shadowy corners. Completely contrasted by the protagonist, the woman, this woman that we are given looks so damn improper that not only am I questioning why I’m here playing this game, but also questioning why this woman is even here.
Apart from that, the next things you see are big floating words on the edge of the cliff saying to follow the path.

Then nothing.

None of the images in this article in any way represent what the game actually looks like. Some aspects are the same, but most of the trailer and screenshots are misleading.

This is the only “tutorial” you get. It doesn’t explain to you that the cards that you collect along the way are unlockable abilities, and it doesn’t explain the little hovering sword things are that you’ve reached a checkpoint which saves your progress. I only found these things out after I went back and got the card after a few times failing the endless jumping puzzle because you NEED the double jump this first card gives you. (Not to mention you can jump while stationary which, as you would expect, makes you do a stationary jump. But use Shift while in air, after jumping stationary, you will start zooming “forward”)

Nevertheless, even from looking at these screenshots provided, they still adhere to the fact that this game is a big CTRL+C, CTRL+V spam.

There is nothing much else to say about this game. The music isn’t dramatic, so it doesn’t provide that necessary feel of a race, and all the assets you jump on being copy-pasted and no variation to it whatsoever, it honestly puts you out of the game.
The second level, however, is a whole new bag of beans with “fall away floors” that don’t work half of the time and no clear guidance as to which way you’re supposed to go. The game generally being a mess, I just decided to not even further progress with it.

That and all the assets are floating mid-air, there was absolutely no effort to make the levels look like believable areas. It’s literally just floating assets.

Pros:
– The game itself from a “distance” looks nice enough.
– The music is equivalent to static noise or ambient song, enjoyable enough for some.
– Asset placement is clean, there are no graphical errors or glitchy looking objects.
– All Controls Work

Cons:
– All assets within the game, no matter how well-placed or how suitable the game looks from a distance, does not make the fact that the game is one big copy-pasta of the same elements. Playing the game for the short amount of time that I did make me see it so quickly. It’s the same asset, over and over again. Even if they’ve managed to make it look different, it’s still the same asset!
– There is no sense of “Race” or urgency, the game literally has the word “Rush” in it yet gives no reason to apart from a timer with too much time on it.
– DESPITE looking fine, the actual hitboxes for the game are particularly bad, and some aren’t even set. Glitching your character through some platforms or just being “false platforms”.
– The woman is super out of place, and dances? With Q and e? It’s so improper and there is honestly no reason for the emotes like dancing.

That, and look at the background. It’s such a cheap attempt at creating a scene, but it actually just stops at the horizon and is nothingness from there.

In conclusion, don’t buy this game. It has no soul whatsoever due to the lack of the effort on the dev’s part to make something more than just a few things you can jump between. It’s so cheap. Insanely cheap, and I’m not making a remark on the price it is, once again it’s the effort.
If you’re super enthusiastic about 3D, 3rd person jumping platformers, go on and play it. I do warn you, you’ll hate yourself for it.
I pray that you’re one of the silly people like myself who already had this in their library due to buying game bundles from sketchy websites. Don’t actually go out and buy this, as buying games like these enables people to think they can make a quick buck from these (un)passion projects. You’re honestly better off playing Cloud Escape.

Price: £2.09
Time To Complete: 36 minutes.
Achievements: 35
Cards: No
Worth The Money: No

(I’ve done it, I’ve found the old image they used to advertise the game, which better encapsulates what this game actually looks like.)


Zesty Rating
1 Out Of 10. You are Snow White, and this is the apple offered to you.
Play any other jumping platformer game instead. By far one of the worst ones yet due to the lack of effort and overabundance of copypasting assets. Not worth your time or your money. No challenge, no love and no soul. Better off playing Diamond Hands: To The Moon.

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[LEGACY] 12 Hours

Upon entering 12 Hours, you’re hit straight with that shitty indie feel and not to mention the long loading times. The screen shows some basic text with controls, but some of these controls seem confusing at first because they ask you to use the LMB to turn on and off your torch, but also to use it to attack… What? Nevermind, I’m sure it will explain itself eventually or make sense in-game.

You then start off in a corridor, no story as you are within a nightmare of the developer’s making. All that you can see will be the wooden floor, the dirty off-white walls, and the wooden doors. A very plain setting and not very spooky or endangering at all.
Each door you go through will land you in one of the random rooms that this game possesses, where all the items have the exact same spawn location. Random rooms, but all the contents of the rooms are not randomised, weird.
The red “blood” writing on the wall is extremely far from intimidating. Some writing is even supposed to be funny, but that completely devalues the scare of others! Whispering emanating from these walls, but it’s not subtle whatsoever, and for me, takes away some scare as the sound was clearly just placed on the wall.

The monster(s) you encounter (as far as I’m aware) is a homeless old man with a machete/butcher knife and a demon dog/human hybrid that I swear I’ve seen in some game before. These enemies will sometimes spawn right in front of you and, typically, not even facing you. They will spawn, more than likely, before you can reach/find a weapon, leaving you defenceless. The monster(s) can run faster than you and there’s no way to close the door to prevent them from attacking you (despite it giving you the option to interact with it) and there is no hiding mechanic. You just die.

On my last playthrough I was lucky enough to come across a baseball bat, which I found to my displeasure that as soon as I picked it up the torch went out. Baseball bats are two-handed weapons, and it wouldn’t make sense that I could hold a torch too, so that was fine, but now I have to fight the monsters in the pitch black with a baseball bat, big deal. Or at least it wouldn’t be if the game had not already put (from what I can tell) a headlamp on the floor. It told me to press G to turn it on, and it didn’t. It had a sign like a switchover sign with the button T, so I tried that. Nothing.

Obviously, the headlamp was put here with the combat in mind, so you could still see your enemies as you were fighting them. You technically still can, but you can only see their life bar. Oh, and the crawling monster had me dead before I could even get a second hit. *Shakes some salt.*

Pros:
— The game works. No audio or auditory glitches and no game crashes.
— Battery charge to battery finding ratio is sensible enough.
— Combat is actually combat and not just a horror hide and seek.
— Buttons (for everything except LMB issue) are set sensibly to global standard.

Cons:
— Monsters spawn right in front of you, sometimes not even facing you.
— If you don’t find a bat before the monster finds you, you’re fucked, as you can’t defend yourself otherwise.
— The torch is terrible, and the headlamp doesn’t work.
— There is no hide mechanic, and the monster(s) all run faster than you. No way to revive or recover.
— Randomly Generated Map sometimes makes the most stupid of corridors, some you can’t even fit into.

All images are just random rooms that I’ve walked into. None are linked by anything whatsoever. They’re purely rooms with different things in them.

Price: £2.89
Time To Complete: N/A
Achievements: None
Cards: No
Worth The Money: No. Do not buy it.

Honestly, don’t buy this game. If this game is bundled with another game, but you have the option of adding something else instead of this one, do it.
If you already have this game for some reason, play it. Play it and then let people know to avoid this as if it were quarantined.
This is one of the many games that makes people avoid early access and indie tags, and gives the general idea to AAA players that “indie” means “trash”.

Zesty Rating
1 Out Of 10.
The main suspect when it comes to giving Early Access and Indie a bad name. RNG Maps make for tight crawlspaces, no weapon to start despite the risk of being attacked, cheap, boring and dull. A must not play.

Please bear in mind that this is a repost. There have been slight changes to the post such as spelling and grammar fixes, images added, and things generally organised in the fashion I'd like them presented.  Apart from that, the main context of the review has not changed, opinion has not been altered and everything is sacred. I look forward to writing for you all again.
0

[LEGACY] Fisherman’s House

I am an avid lover of horror games, ever since way back in 2012 I found Markiplier’s first ever SCP – Containment Breach video, where he had streamed his very first interaction with the game.
Since then, I was a regular watcher of not just his content, but horror game content in general. Watching people play Cry of Fear and Resident Evil games.
I remember specifically going onto Wikipedia and searching “All Horror Games” and looking at each one of them on YouTube to find playthroughs of them all, because at the time I was limited to my Xbox and Xbox360 which never had “a lot” of horror games despite having things like Dead Space.

From there to here, I’ve had an obsession with horror games, having now got a PC and not just having the full extent of Steam to explore, but GOG and Epic Games Store (despite Epic Game Store being quite barren apart from their exclusives IMO). Not just that but sites like Itch.io and Gamejolt where people upload their creations, and you can access them for free most of the time.

So, when it comes to Keymailer, the moment I see a horror game, I throw myself at it. Fisherman’s House is no different to that, I threw myself right on that game hoping that by the looks of it, it was another Granny game. While I was correct, it was not only a complete rip-off of Granny while also completely failing to do what Granny did.

Fisherman’s House is a game where you don’t wake up in your own room, or your own house. Spend the best of 5 minutes at the start, looking for your torch because it’s very obscurely placed in your room, while being groaned at from whatever direction the “Fisherman” is.
From there, you will wander around the house aimlessly looking for what you can assume is a means of escape, finding various things such as a generator you need to get working, a sledgehammer, a crowbar, and a paddle. You need to figure out how all of these things fit together in order for you to escape not only the house but the vicinity as well.

The items used in the game are set out the exact same way from Granny, which is not too bad, Granny however has sequels where the mechanics and gameplay have been massively improved on. However, Fisherman’s House falls flat in the entirety of the rest of the game.
Where other games have tension and add fear, Fisherman’s House does not build on it, nor does it add any. You are pretty much always being chased when you’re close to the guy, walking slowly does nothing, nor does losing him in a loop, he will always know where you are when you come within a certain distance of him.
Once you realise that there is no consequence for getting caught, the game crumbles. I was caught for the first time very quickly into the game, as that’s how I deal with my games, the first try is always to test your limit, test the enemy and see what you’re up against. I was jump-scared, despite already knowing the Fisherman was running right at me, then left. The Fisherman just left me, exactly where I was, after saying (not literally) “Ooga-booga” in my face and running away. There was no sign of me being injured or my character suffering from acute shock that they needed to recover from, I was free to move again immediately.

Is this game possible to win and finish?
Yes, I do not doubt it. The A.I. may flip dramatically between extremely stupid and constantly on your tail, but this game is simple enough to beat. However, it’s more of a test of whether you can be bothered or not to actually finish it due to the lack of fun and fear.
Did I finish it?
No, after completing the game nearly halfway, I got extremely bored and leaned into my audience at the time questioning whether you can really die in the game or not, considering I seemed to have no consequence of being caught. The answer was “Yes”, I could die, but only after I’d been caught at least 7 times. At that point, after the Fisherman ran away from me after catching me, I ended up chasing him, to find he always “restarts” his behaviour in the same area, right outside the attic. Lazy A.I. programming.

Pros:

  • The game works, has no visual or audio bugs from what I’ve found
  • The starting atmosphere is genuinely unnerving, and the first sighting of the “ghost” Fisherman is actually really good for what it is.
  • The actual level design is okay, it feels like a believable house with lots of floors. Maybe not your standard British house, mind you, but I’ve definitely seen layouts similar to this in big American country estates.
  • The item placement being random gives a good level of difficulty to the game, not just being able to go to where you know everything is, proving a challenge that every instance of the object placement will be different each game.
  • The game provides loops and hiding spaces very frequently to avoid the Fisherman, letting you (in theory) manoeuvre around with ease.

Cons:

  • The atmosphere completely disappears, however, after your first encounter with the Fisherman, as nothing happens. You get a spook and that’s it. The atmosphere and the sight of the Fisherman does nothing anymore as the stakes are not high enough.
  • No consequences are where this game fails massively, as said before it takes away everything this game builds up and doesn’t even give you a slap on the wrist for being caught. I was caught at least seven times before I actually died. There was no “You have a boo-boo from being caught” or “You’re now so close to death that the next capture will make you die.”, absolutely nothing to hint to the player that being caught is bad, just endless chasing and jump-scares.
  • The A.I. for this game is horrible, as said before, once you got into the vicinity of the Fisherman he would “just know” you’re there. In a game like Granny, it made sense as Granny is visually impaired yet has enhanced hearing, the entire floor of the game either being covered in something like glass or twigs, or the floorboards being squeaky. Fisherman’s House offers absolutely none of this and resorts to just chasing you when you’re in range. This doesn’t cause as many you, many you problems as you might think however, as the Fisherman constantly walks into walls and even if you hide while he’s looking right at you, he’ll treat you as if you’ve just disappeared, even if you’re shining your torch right in his face from under the futon.
  • While RNG creates an amazing aptitude for challenge, it can also really take away from the game if applied incorrectly. Developers not taking into account what bigger items like the “generator” looking like in the same place as the crowbar, making the graphic glitch uncontrollably, is something that may have happened. Or maybe just the fact that items randomly move around the house to places you’d never consider keeping those things, but it’s a game, why should things make sense?
  • Some items are broken, I believe, as during my playthrough there were named items such as the “crowbar” that I couldn’t pick up, despite seeing in the trailer that you can utilise that tool. It seems to be a persistent problem within this game.

Price: £3.99
Time To Complete: N/A (Could probably speedrun it 10 min)
Achievements: 7
Cards: None
Worth The Money: No, as cheap as it is, I’d rather play Granny at the exact same price.

Overall, this game is a shadow of the game it draws inspiration from. While it does all the same things as the role-model game, it does them in a more lacklustre way, lacking in nearly every aspect in comparison. While I can appreciate that this is the developer’s first game (on Steam), Granny was also a “Dev’s First” game as well, and it’s significantly better at what it does, while also being the exact same price as Fisherman’s House. Fisherman’s House is just another one of the Granny clone games that come with the flood of the game’s popularity, as soon as a game/show gets popular you can sit back and shake your head while you watch the cheap rehashes and clones appear everywhere. This game is no different.

Zesty Rating
2 Out Of 10.
When a game becomes popular, you’re hit with a wave of copies and shameless rip-offs, this is one of them. Literally the same price as all the Granny games, just go and play that instead. Bland, boring and not scary after the first encounter. Just another RNG-based, find-em-all to find-a-way-out, best to be ignored.

Please bear in mind that this is a repost. There have been slight changes to the post such as spelling and grammar fixes, images added, and things generally organised in the fashion I'd like them presented.  Apart from that, the main context of the review has not changed, opinion has not been altered and everything is sacred. I look forward to writing for you all again.

NOTE: This game is flagged as “Retry”.
0

[LEGACY] Hidden Shelter

Back ages ago, I played a game called Pacify with one of my old buddies on her stream. She absolutely crapped herself, while I remained completely calm for most of the game. Also, under reacting to the ghost chasing me, which led to my friend getting more of a fright due to “…oh” not being much of a hint of “We should run.”

Hidden Shelter immediately reminded me of this game, but not in a good way.

Hidden Shelter is a game where you and your 3 buddies are in a car driving somewhere, the car crashes and one of your buddies seem to walk off on their own into the woods that the car tumbled into. From here, you and your wuss of a friend (whom both of you have no “inside voices”) venture off from the wreck of the car to find the lost friend.
You come across a spooky mansion in the neck of the woods with its lights on and the door unlocked, the wuss character rightfully asks if it’s okay to “just go in without permission”, which your character swiftly disregards.
Entering the mansion, the pair think it’s a great idea to walk around shouting and yelling, eventually believing that there’s no one there and start walking around looking for their friend.

From here is where the game turns from interesting, with it’s rendered cutscenes and spooky atmosphere, and flops completely.
This game is now a mess of unhinted mini-cutscenes, which will not activate until you get close enough to an object. This in turn forces you to rub your balls on every possible piece of furniture and anything that looks vaguely intriguing to see if it triggers one. There was a point where I had been around the entire house around 3 times, looking for something, anything, and accidentally triggered a mini-cutscene that offered nothing to the game by standing next to a plain stool.
It’s, honest-to-god, bullshit.

The reason Pacify comes to mind when thinking about this game is due to the fact that every door in this damn mansion is locked. Big Wuss actually comments on with “Why would you lock every door in the house you live in?”. I wonder why, Big Wuss, I wonder why…
Not only this but everything is such a needless trek, why oh why do I need to find this key, to open this door, to find another key which opens this door, to find another key to open this door which helps me un-barricade another door which leads back to the main room?
In Pacify, it was fun, okay? In Pacify we were being chased constantly, and the key finding was a race of sorts. Finding the keys was crucial to our survival and if one of us died during finding the keys, we had to be so much quicker to find the rest! If we slacked on finding the living room key which allowed us to find the bedroom key, which in turn led to us finding the attic key which gave us the basement key, we wouldn’t be able to open the door to the room in the basement that allows you to revive! It was the rush, the panic, and the intensity that made Pacify work for that stupid “domino of keys” formula that it used.

Hidden Shelter has none of this. It has no presence after the first few scenes and atmosphere changes.

There are encounters with a ghost, of sorts, which makes use of the 3D objects which have gravity by throwing them at you or using its weird wind powers to make things get in your way as you run.
My first gripe with the monster, or whatever it is, is that it’s odd wind power is complete bogus. I’m pretty sure that on death, the physical objects that get thrown around do not reset, either that or the peculiar wind powers randomly chucks things around meaning that whether things get under my feet are not is just luck.
This causes me to get caught a lot, but being completely out of my control. The lighting in the game is terrible, so I cannot see if anything is actually on the floor to trip me up, and sometimes I can’t see where I’m going. But, what fucks things up the most is that instead of doing the regular thing that games do and let players make their own mistakes, if the player goes the wrong way during a chase they are immediately caught.
For example, in the kitchen scene, I was chased by the monster. I ran out through the corridor and ran into the dead end as per usual out of panic and general… Directional confusion… Correcting myself and running out of the right door, I spin around to try and quickly close it to attempt to slow the creature down (completely disregarding Big Wuss’ safety). Not thinking “I need to run outside because the front door will still be open.” because since when do horror games just let you run out the front door? I run for the stairs to try and maybe find a closet, so I can hide Ao Oni style, but as soon as my foot touches the stairs I get pulled into the mandatory death cutscene.
Okay, so perhaps my fumbling in the dead end is what fucked me up there, okay… Let’s try again.
Next time, I went straight out of the right door and went straight for the stairs. Mandatory jumpscare again.
I tried this a few times, believing that it was me, and if I was just fast enough I could probably make it. It was only when someone in my Twitch chat at the time suggested that I ran outside instead, I actually survived. Not only was this monster not fast at all, but even after tripping on boxes and then waiting in the hallway to test the theory, slowly activating the stairs’ death was it clear that, yes, this is indeed bullshit.

There is obviously much more to this game than what I played through. After wandering through the entire house, clicking on all the doors to find that 3/4 doors gave me the “This Door Is Locked” response, the rest having nothing to say at all, I’d rather not continue. That and that I had to quit the game due to what I found was a checkpoint trap. The ghost had chased me into a room (which was scripted, as if you try to run the wrong way then you get “auto-deaded”) and you’re given no clue what to do in the room but “escape”. Doors were bugged closed from what I could tell, and there was no other way to escape, so I had to quit the game.

Pros:

  • The game works, and has no graphical or audio bugs from what I can tell.
  • The game is fully voice acted, which adds a nice feeling of effort put into the game, which most indie horror lacks (from what I’ve played recently).
  • The game tries hard to convey the feeling that Amnesia brings with its puzzle-like environment and room unlocking.
  • Big Wuss (secondary character) addresses a lot of the common horror tropes in his questioning of the mansion and the main character’s actions, which is honestly a big plus for me, as I love it when idiotic shit is called out on.
  • The atmosphere at the start of the game is eerie and actually draws you in, especially with the addition of the rendered cutscene, which adds some intensity as well.

Cons:

  • Despite having no graphical or audio bugs, the game does suffer from game-breaking glitches and game-cues not activating. A part I got soft-locked in was exiting through the conservatory door in the kitchen, not allowing us to leave. Due to the horrible A.I. pathing the monster couldn’t figure out how to get round the corner of the corridor.
  • Effort and trying your best to draw inspiration from games is something I can admire. However, despite all the effort put into a game, it doesn’t save it from falling flat at the hurdle it tried so hard to create and jump over. This game tries to feel like Amnesia (I’m not sure if it drew inspiration from it or not, but it’s the closest I can relate it to) but fails considerably at the start of the game. Lost is the atmosphere and intensity with the meaningless wandering, unthreatening monster and lack of actual puzzles.
  • All the notes that are scattered around the mansion are completely incoherent and do nothing to service the story, atmosphere, or the mood. They don’t help progress anything, offer any combination to locked doors, provide hints, or even really provide any interest whatsoever.
  • The A.I. pathing is terrible. When you’re doing maths in school, you learn about a certain way to calculate things according to maps, distances and real life where there are buildings and walls you need to walk around, completely erasing A to B values. You need to maybe need to include C as well if you need to turn a sharp corner or additional other points if you’re avoiding something. The monster however (from the best I can tell) still uses A to B tracking, leading to it walking into walls as it tries to follow you. Going as far as getting itself stuck if you’re fast enough to run down a corridor and turn a corner.
  • The lighting is terrible… I wouldn’t list this as a graphical issue/error as I believe that it’s intentional, but god-damn, things are so dark, and you hardly have any light. Sometimes when Big Wuss walks up behind you, and you see him out the corner of your eye, it’s like an oil/tar rendition of the blob monster.
  • The optimisation of the game is terrible as well. When starting up the game I almost cried a little as for the past couple of times I’ve been reviewing games it’s been sucking up a lot of RAM due to unoptimised shaders. The menu was the worst by far, taking up a lot, but when starting the game it got better. However, I still had to lower the settings a bit due to me running on a lovely 30fps with full quality despite my fully capable PC.
  • The game gives you no room to fail naturally, if you go the wrong way within the game you’re given a game over jumpscare immediately. It makes sense for JRPGs maybe, but for a game like this (where we’ve already walked up and down that staircase 4 times trying to figure out what to do) there is no justification for it. The A.I. is weak, yes, but at least let the player wander around with the blaring chase music wondering where to go until they get caught or, even better, realise they need to leave the building.

Quick note: all images that I am using in this review are all areas that I have seen, but also picked to highlight just how bad the lighting in this game is. There are better pictures of this game (mainly the one used as the very first screenshot the player sees when looking at this game on Steam to create the false illusion that the game will always look like this) which I will show, but the rest/most of the game just looks like all the pictures above.

I tend to always use only areas that I’ve seen in the game to use in the reviews as it, sort of, concludes my experience. My experience was infinite darkness and weak jumpscares.

Price: £2.99. Previously £7.19
Time To Complete: N/A
Achievements: 12
Cards: None
Worth The Money: If the game worked, possibly. Because it soft-locked for me, no, not at all.

In conclusion, this game is a product of what happens when two inspired devs take on the role of making a big horror game with inspiration from big games titles and bit off more than they can chew. I feel bad saying that, honestly, but it’s a case of too much being focused on one thing and not in another. A lot of time and effort spent building the area, flooded with ideas and then creating that surprisingly great cutscene, to then flop on the execution. A restrained gameplay, a weak atmosphere after all pouring their work into building it up, and a drab way to execute initial puzzles and consecutive door unlocking.
At its price right now, it would be great for the more lenient and less critical horror game enjoyer to play, but due to bugs and game soft-locks, I’d tell most to avoid it.

Zesty Rating
2.5 Out Of 10.
Apples that you bought last week but never touched, but now you need to eat them because you bought them.
A game with effort from a small dev team. Inspired from bigger games, but lacks at the execution. Bad A.I. pathing, lighting and lack of atmosphere after the initial introduction. I honestly prefer collecting coins to collecting the keys to all these locked doors.

Please bear in mind that this is a repost. There have been slight changes to the post such as spelling and grammar fixes, images added, and things generally organised in the fashion I'd like them presented.  Apart from that, the main context of the review has not changed, opinion has not been altered and everything is sacred. I look forward to writing for you all again.

NOTE: This game is flagged as “Retry”.
0

20,000 Miles Under the Sea

20,000 Miles Under the Sea is, thankfully, a game that I’m pretty sure has always been free.
To even call this a game is honestly an insult to even the top-tier trash games, such as ABST Clicker Farm and Abscond (Not the actual Abscond Game, but the “developer’s” audacity to release it as their game).

If you’re like me, and you have irritating, but very true thoughts pop into your head now and again, then you’ll know that there’s a certain point in life where the question: “How high can you count?” goes from being a matter of knowledge to a matter of will.

That is this “game”.

This “game” is just a test of mental endurance to see how long you can last, staring at a screen, while you lethargically descend into the depths of the ocean.
There is not much to look at, you can’t look around or explore really. The only option you have in the game is “Auto-swim”, where you just descend, and “Not Auto-Swim” where you just descend, but you can sluggishly swim forward.
Shoals of fish randomly spawn in and out with glitchy animations and bad implementation overall, phasing through solid rock and coral. Even Mario 64 had fish that you could interact with.

Of course, you can’t have an underwater game without having a horror element! So, only in the description of this game on Steam will you see that:

This is a simple idle horror game, and all that is required of you is to observe the life of the underwater world and wait.

Continued with:

But please remember that you are not alone – a terrible creature inhabits this abyss. If you’re too scared to meet this monster, you can tap out any time you like…

Ooo spooky, so where is this terrible sea creature?
It doesn’t exist.
All it is, is a terribly done jumpscare, which is easily avoided in one of two ways. Keep auto-swim on, as if you’re in auto-swim mode it doesn’t touch you for some reason (either that or the RNG was super unlucky), or moving away from the obvious red dots.

What also doesn’t exist is this bullshit.

This image shows the developer of the game claiming that the first person to reach the bottom of the game will receive $20,000.

Yeah, I don’t think you’re fooling anyone with this.

This image shows the developer admitting that there is no cash prize of $20,000, and that money will only be handed out if people buy the music.

Yeah, you weren’t fooling anyone.

As far as I could tell, using all the resources that I could, the soundtrack was not bought once.
Checking Steam sale records and various other 3rd party sites that track information like this, I found absolutely nothing.
This was a clear attempt to get people to play it, so they could get better feedback for the game (which never happened) and get some pennies back.
As discussed in the Abscond review/investigative piece that I wrote, it costs around $100 for developers to publish a game on Steam. It makes sense that the devs would make a desperate grab at their financial loss of a release.

Aside from this, what else do we have in the game?

  • Horrendous crashes that persist after the developer has updated/patched the game twice to “fix” these errors. Happening so often that I experienced at least 5 crashes within the 24 minutes I was able to hold out.
  • No option to mess with the sound. If there is, I cannot find it. Pressing the escape key, in hope that it would bring up a menu, took me out of the game and “marked my name” where I stopped. I had to start all over again. Thanks, this is undoubtedly what I wanted.
  • No clear indication, in the game, of how to play or that you have to avoid the red dots, or how to avoid them. Nothing telling you what or how to do things at all.
  • The “game” is so mind-numbing that the developer themselves instruct you: “you can minimize the game and continue to go down, doing other things.” if it’s too “tiring”. Just leave the game on, minimise it and do something more fun is their advice. Thanks, again. Brilliant game.
  • To add to the last point, the game is so badly optimised. Not to mention the crashes again, which are probably partially caused by this issue, but this “game” eats up all of your resources because of the bad optimisation. GPU? Gone. RAM? Gone. Shaders people! Fix your fucking shaders!

And to top it all off, is the most annoying part of the game. The name markers.
So, you accidentally exited out the game, or you’ve had enough, and you exit the game. That’s a name marker added with your name on it, but it’s not just you who can see it. Everyone can.

And you can’t turn it off.

You must sink, 20k feet, staring at the blur of mashed up names as so many people either crashed or gave up within the first 5 minutes. It’s then evenly spacing out a bit more until you reach the 30-minute mark, and another massive mash of names again where people have taken a gigantic sigh and turned the game off.

This, but thousands more names overlapping each other, covering the entire screen.

The “beautiful, underwater scenery” in this game, you want to see it? Too bad, you’ve got to stare at this clusterfuck of names.
Thank goodness, the game doesn’t “start” until you get past this absolute mess, although, I doubt you’ll be paying attention to find that out.

Price: N/A
Time To Complete: Apparently around an hour.
Achievements: 28
Cards: N/A
Worth The Money: It’s not even worth being free, to be honest.

It’s not worth a fun rating.

0 Out Of 10

While it is not the country of origin that defines the type of game a developer produces, you will find that a lot of “Shovelware” comes from Russia. People who are well versed in Steam and cheap games will know this already.
I can only see so far, and my scope is limited to so many, different variables:
— Time of purchase
— Impulsivity
— Jumping on bundles/sales
— Complete disregard for my own enjoyment, just to sate an urge to buy something that looks bad.

Yeah, I’m bullshitting, but it’s a half-truth. There have been Brazilian games and Portuguese and English games I’ve played that all fit these categories. Cheap games, made to barely hold themselves together, to sit on Steam and slowly farm pennies until the $100 is paid back before Steam finds the game and deletes it. But not as many as I have Russian.
This is predominantly because of where I bought these games initially, and where I get them from now.

DailyIndieGame is one of the big reasons as to why I have a lot of these (apart from the few times I went to Russian sites and paid £10 for 250 games) games are in my Steam library. The promise is, from the site, to highlight creator’s games. Giving them out in bundles for small prices. It’s honestly a decent way to do things, but after a while I had to take a step back and check what I was actually buying because… ehhhhhhh. I maybe just paid £0.66 for The Wasteland Trucker, but… Yuck, I paid THAT, for THIS??

Another culprit (of no bad means) is Steamdb’s Free Game activator. Any time a game goes up for free, whether just newly released for free or discounted to free, it will activate it on your account. It’s responsible for the fact I have over 11k items in my library now and if you load up my steam games list IT WILL CRASH YOUR CLIENT/BROWSER.

It’s safe to say, you can expect a lot more Shovelware reviews. We’ve got my whole library to look forward to reviewing. 

Please bear in mind that this is a repost. There have been slight changes to the post such as spelling and grammar fixes, images added, and things generally organised in the fashion I'd like them presented.  Apart from that, the main context of the review has not changed, opinion has not been altered and everything is sacred. I look forward to writing for you all again.
0

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