[LEGACY] Abst Clicker Farm

Saying this right here first before I write anything, as I know that the amount I write can prevent people from seeing how I feel about this game.

Do not buy this.
At any cost.
Do not.
If you’re an unlucky sod who has this in their steam library already due to buying 150 game bundles from dodgy Russian game-code websites, then do us a favour. This game only has 4 reviews, write one. Even if it is only “This game is very bad.”, just be honest. In aide of mindless fools who would buy a game just because it’s on sale, turn them away with the sight of red. (Negative rating).


This game is a shill, a shell, and a bombshell all at once.
Now, it’s not outrageously bad as the game actually functions and does not crash in the middle of playing like so many AAA games, that’s a plus, so we are now up to at least a 1/10.
Then there is the matrix-like binary code type theme, which I’m fond of. I’ve always liked the green text on the black background aesthetic.
The generation of money is also interesting, it is your standard “currency is click=dollars”.
To level up, you purchase bits bytes and kilobytes to auto-collect your money. So now we are at least at a 2/10. (If we were giving out pity points, that is).

As soon as you enter the damn game you are hit with a wall of shattered expectations, no ear-blasting music, no cheesy copyright free music, no music that breaches copyright laws, nothing.
None of the buttons make noises, nothing makes a noise. It’s just you, the button and the noise of your mouse endlessly clicking as you try to figure out why life has doomed you to this fate.
Not of this game, but why you even thought this game would even be worth playing in the first place.
Silence of the void, asking you the crushing question of why you even bothered to buy/download/play this game in the first place.

The fun stuff is, is that this game is so easy to replicate.
It’s so un-unique.
You get maybe 10 “enhancers” to your click bonus, and you’re just left to fend for yourself with your underpowered clicking and the severe lack of money to purchase your next 10 megabytes.
Yes, the binary and computer theme is cool! So what?
A mindless clicking game was made with visually intriguing aspects, not visually appealing ones, and boom, done. Perfect.
You’ve got yourself what the developers consider a “game” worth “money”.

Do all these images look the same? If the answer is “Yes”, or any variation of agreeing, then ask yourself this: “Did you expect anything less?”

Pros:

  • It functions as a game, no crashes, major bugs with visuals or audio.
  • Computer Theme/ Binary Theme/ Matrix Theme

Cons:

  • No Music
  • No Sounds
  • No Effort
  • No Imagination
  • Nothing Unique
  • No payoff for all the time you’ve wasted clicking at binary.

This game is nothing.

Oh, and the achievements are borked.

Price: £0.79
Time To Complete: There is no completion. I have 6.9 hours in the game for the “lols”, but it probably only took 1 – 2 hours to max everything out.
Achievements: 5
Cards: N/A
Worth The Money: It’s not worth wiping your arse with.

If you recognise this image, then you already know what I’m implying.
Play it instead if you want a clicker.

This game is a shell of a clicker game, so much so that I don’t even consider it a game, as there’s no payoff. There’s no effort, no life, and no reason to play it. So, therefore, there is no reason to buy it or to endorse the “maker” of this “game”.

Zest Rating
0 Out Of 10. I’m drinking bleach for a pallet cleanser after that.
The endless void which is the expanse of my life can’t hope to be just as dull, empty and meaningless as this game. It’s devoid of passion, creativity, and meaning. Honestly, describing myself as well, but at least I have really nice eyes, the game can’t boast the same.


Please bear in mind that this is a repost. There have been slight changes to the post such as spelling and grammar fixes, images added, and things generally organised in the fashion I'd like them presented.  Apart from that, the main context of the review has not changed, opinion has not been altered and everything is sacred. I look forward to writing for you all again.

Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑