[LEGACY] Amazon Rush

Amazon Rush is an endless runner game, created at the peak of runner-game-hype, along with games like Subway Surfer and the like. Judging by the game itself, it’s honestly hard to tell whether it was an honest attempt at recreating the magic, or a blatant attempt at grabbing from the pockets of people who wanted to try something new.

This review will be more of an argument with what the developers describe the game as, so I will be listing the pros and cons first.

Pros:

• A decent game in itself when it decides to work.
• The game is competent enough to have AN objective.
• The game provides a singular challenge for a singular cosmetic.
• The game is not so lazy that it doesn’t have power ups.
• Nice start screen and game over screen.

Cons:

• The main character is bland and forgettable. There is nothing unique or interesting about it.
• The RNG for which blocks spawn is absolutely atrocious. Blocks can spawn inside each other and make the game freeze because it doesn’t know what’s happening, or they can spawn too far unreachable for you to make it with power ups.
• The moving background is only one picture long, so it’s the same image looping over and over again. A second image would’ve been good enough to just give it a bit more sustenance.
• Not unique in any way.
• Jumping mechanics have you float and then suddenly drop, making it almost impossible to predict where you’re going to land.
• Dull with no rewarding aspects.

“Enjoy the Unique World of adventure and challenges”.
This game is not unique, the only thing that’s even close to being unique is how bad it is, but since the greenlight is non-existent it’s “unique-ness at failing to be a decent running game” is almost snuffed out.
The main character is forgettable. The background is so plain, bland and lazy that you swear you’ve seen it somewhere before. The power ups are indeed somewhat unique, but they’re always just out-of-reach so that if you go for them, there is no way to survive.
The “Aboriginal” costume is actually the most unique thing about this, not for the promise of costumes as other games have done it better, but just for its design, which was obviously the “challenges”, the dev was talking about.

“…with lots of thrill and fun.”
Fuck off.
Thrill and fun are different and are achieved in different ways. This game is in no way thrilling, and it also is in no way fun. The difference between this, is that this game has the potential to be fun and captivating like most runners want to be as runner games are all about replayability. If the only thing you have to offer as a reward is 75,000 coins away and there’s nothing in between and nothing after that, players just don’t latch on.

“This running game is beautifully designed…”
There’s no problem with this statement apart from the statement itself. The background design is tolerable, the character design is better than expected along with the costume, and the info screens are a nice touch with the bloody… arrows? Spears? I can’t tell what they are, but they do fit the Amazon theme.
However, just all-out claiming that this is beautifully designed is a lot of bullshit, and we can all see that.

“…awesome sound effects.”
Yeah, sure. You picked the right ones. All sound effects were appropriate. Congratulations.

Price: £0.79 (believe it or not, its base price used to be £2)
Time To Complete: N/A
Achievements: 124
Cards: No
Worth The Money: No. The game is broken, it can literally crash your Steam Client.

Do not buy this game.
If you wish to buy this game, buy it when it’s on sale. 50% or above sale, and even at that it’s still not worth what you’re paying for it. At this point, it’s more beneficial for you if you buy it off a dodgy website, get hacked, have to freeze your account then claim it back again just to get the game.

Zesty Rating
1 Out Of 10. You’re being the victim of that weird trick people can do where they eat a banana, but then put the skin back the way it was to make you think there’s still a banana there. There’s not.
Describes itself as unique and beautiful, maybe that’s what it’s mother’s told it. Awful Runner game, no reward aspects, only endless running and no gain. RNG breaks the game and Steam Client. Don’t buy this one.

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Please bear in mind that this is a repost. There have been slight changes to the post such as spelling and grammar fixes, images added, and things generally organised in the fashion I'd like them presented.  Apart from that, the main context of the review has not changed, opinion has not been altered and everything is sacred. I look forward to writing for you all again.